James has been a wonderful man, A wonderful husband, A fantastic father to our young children. He takes care of me in many ways no other man has. Emotionally and physically. So there isn't anything wrong with him to say the least. I just wish he was sarah, my one and only true love. The one who got away and the one who was never coming back to me. She's gone somewhere I can't reach.
It would be 20 something years ago that Sarah had left us to go to a better place. One that I wasn't ready to go myself. She was brave that way, I wasn't. She'd been diagnosed with breast cancer but it had spread and there wasn't anything anyone could do. We spent everyday, every night, every moment we had left with us. Writing this now, I could feel her with me. Her hands when she caressed my round blushed face after she kissed me, her arms wrapped around me when she stood behind me when I needed consoling when my father fell away. Her fuzzy silly sweater she would never take off itching the tiny hairs on my shoulders. Her D&G light blue perfume that I gifted her and she so badly wanted for her birthday. I miss her so much, so very much.
Why can't James be sarah.
"Why not?" I ask myself.
"He's a good man. I love him. He's just a man". I laugh
"That's it! he's just a man. But what if I can make him into a woman, A beautiful woman who wears fuzzy silly sweaters and D&G light blue perfume.
I can spend time to sneak estrogen supplements like wild yam or breast pills into his diet. It will only take about 2 months to begin seeing the effects. Sensitive nipples and breast buds will start to develop. We can go shopping for dresses and stockings and sexy little shoes. He can hold me while I suck his breasts and lick him out hard. Then tell him and hopefully he will be so far gone, she won't be able to go back and will happily take hormones.
wow I like the plan and as a femme, gender queer male, wish I could partake in it with you